Babies who needs them?

Yes … it’s been a challenging time of late… maybe with the new moon dawning this evening things will change and all answers will be revealed!

Today has been a roller coaster of epic proportion… I wonder if a man really gets it! When after a year of deciding to put the idea of babies, actually it’s just the hope of one baby! One healthy happy full formed baby! On hold! mmm Just to step out of it all and allow life to take me down a windy road of my life without a baby..

My journey to motherhood has taken me on a path I never expected. Its been one of incredible joy and devastating loss. Funny enough I’ve been feeling so incomplete weird as that may sound.. That a baby will fill me up completely and make my days dreamy and wonderful I sound de-illusional. mmm Are we blinded by our biological clocks or is it the deep inner need to bring life, experience the birthing of life. mmm…To be a mumma I guess for all of us the journey is a personal one.

Where do we and how do we fill ourselves up?

This inner calling that drives us, calls to us in the dark night, where do we find peace with ourselves and our desires?

My husband has always held the practical card and me yes you guess it the dreamy hopeful, magic welding, earth mumma.. perfect combo really . Even with it’s challenges.

He’s been my rock, strong and formidable amazing really. Sometimes a little too practical. My question is how do we find balance when one wants to move forward away from the inner callings and the other is still honouring those inner desires.

How do we create the balance without falling apart, creating the wedge and disappearing into the void?

How do we find our peace and honour ourselves.. allowing that full expression. maybe the new moon will speak clearer..

blessings to you

Being gentle….

I’ve been looking for direction for a while now, I even had a marketing coach that was helping me with my direction… But she decided to pull the pull as she felt like her heart wasn’t in it! Wow after hearing this.. My world… I felt  completely and utterly shattered!  The old feelings .. re-surfacing see she just confirmed it!, “…”I’m not good enough ” What I’m working to share/create is NOT GOOD enough! HA! After dragging myself around for a couple of weeks… I found my light this shinning beacon within… and I realised this experience was the best thing that could have happened as i’ve moved myself into a space that is more supportive… I’ve allowed, given myself permission to really discover/uncover what I really want… and who I really am… and How I want to move forward… So I big heart felt thank you…. To you Pamela for leaving me and honouring your truth! So fast forward to now… and the process of discovering and understanding me…. In this new light. with new gentleness/…. me  moving forward… me wanting to share my story in all honesty so it may inspire you to move…. to share.. to create more…. I’ve realised today after listening to a webcast from the “Whole hearted success summit”  created by Angela Raspass… Someone was talking about gratitude and how it’s a conscious choice for you to filter for the positive, and it creates a great habit for finding the good in your life…And yes I’ve heard it many times about the more gratitude you give the more your get… This woman said she’d gone through a tough period in her life and for 8 years she did the gratitude journalling, so she could find that light… having gratitude everyday helped to move her out of the darkness and into the light.. My current status has been challenging … to say the least… I’m at times, finding myself in the process of really having to dig deep, to find a way to move forward,  with baby steps for me this has not been at times easy… more likely due to the fact that I am my own worst enemy and I have strong expectations on where I should be right now at this very moment…And I find it at times to let go of those expectations… I’m very gentle, kind and loving with my clients. But with myself… not so … still work in progress…. So enlist of all this gentleness I’ve decided to go back to my gratitude list … and start each day with the things that I have gratitude for… starting with now… I have gratitude for now, for being work in progress, for the ability to recognise and make changes where possible to support myself, taking the steps I need to move forward with grace and ease… ” Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for abundance “Eckhart Tolle” So through me sharing my experiences I hope I can shine a light into your space and help you find that inner truth and allow you too to be gentle… Blessings  Danielle

finding strength…….

life challenging and full of mystery….It’s been forever since I posted… and still working with the image of me breaking free, from my world that I have created to support myself through this challenge…. The challenge of creating…. creating a baby…. funny I say that i’m creating it! but I wonder if that’s really true… sure there is part of me getting ready preparing my body, mind and soul, guess the other 1/2 is the soul that’s coming… I may think I’m ready hell actually i’m way over ready! but the other 1/2 not quite here…. so wonder if I will be so blessed with having another baby…. funny as some people are blessed with the easiness of getting pregnant…of having many babies…. with no real thought…. just get pregnant, but for me it’s challenging….

some say I’m strong…mmm… guess there is strength within… yes I do have great strength…. I may not acknowledge it enough…. yes this is true… I do have amazing strength… everyday I work with mum’s and babies…. and it’s a strange thing…. I don’t feel that I can give up on my gifts… they keep me called upon so I keep working….there are questions within… will I be able to continue working with mothers and babies if I can’t have my own… not sure…i can feel the energy getting caught in my throat as I write… yes it saddens me deeply… so everyday I work with it hoping to find a little more peace within… that will brighten my world and allow myself to finally break free….